Healing Attachment Issues from the Mother Wound

By Antoinette Peterson

The mother wound refers to a form of attachment trauma that occurs when a mother does not meet the emotional needs of her child, often leaving them to feel unloved or unworthy. This type of trauma impacts someone significantly, with effects that can follow them into adulthood and damage their future relationships. In this blog post, we will explain why the mother wound leads to attachment issues, and further explore how to heal from the mother wound. 

Why does the Mother Wound Lead to Attachment Issues in Children?

Experiences in childhood can have a significant impact on the way we form relationships that persists long into adulthood. Our attachment styles — patterns that help explain how one behaves in a relationship– strongly influence the way we think and act in our relationships with anyone from our friends to a romantic partner. Therefore, the experience of a mother wound –in which a child may experience emotional unavailability, potential criticism, or overall lack of parenting from their mother– could result in a child developing insecure attachment patterns. 

This is primarily because, according to attachment theory, early interactions with a caregiver can impact an individual’s emotional and mental health. An insecure attachment style may show up in the child later on as feeling anxious about their relationships and wondering whether the love they receive is real or lasting. Adults with insecure attachment might idolize the process of love yet fear that it will escape them through a partner’s abandonment or rejection of them. 

Healing Attachment Trauma from the Mother Wound 

Research has demonstrated that in order to begin healing from this type of trauma, a deep understanding of the mother wound is essential, because it can help the individual identify and address the impacts of this kind of parenting. This makes education about the mother wound essential, since it can bring awareness to the emotional trauma one has experienced, and help someone avoid passing it on to children. 

Additionally, inner child work can support healing from the mother wound. The inner child refers to the concept that every individual has a childlike aspect within them, which contains memories and experiences from when they were younger. If a child experienced a mother wound when they were young, they may carry unprocessed beliefs or pain about self worth. Doing inner child work allows one to revisit these wounds and work to heal them,  practicing self compassion and getting in touch with your past emotions.

How New Perspective Counseling can Help 

Though it might feel hard to imagine at times, It’s possible to set aside patterns of unhealthy attachment behavior and replace them with healthier ones instead. Therapy is an excellent tool for respecting your needs and creating healthy relationships going forward, especially if you have experienced a mother wound. If you’re interested in learning more, reach out to schedule a free consultation for individual therapy.