Ten signs of Codependency In Relationships
In healthy intimate relationships, interdependence is normal. This involves being able to rely on another person for advice and support, ultimately allowing two people in a partnership to grow, become more resilient, and develop their identities outside of the relationship. Codependency, however, involves becoming so invested in another individual that you cannot function on your own. Typically in these dynamics, one partner is more passive, and may lack self esteem or the ability to function independently. The other partner takes on a more dominant role, often finding satisfaction in taking care of the other person and making decisions. This type of behavior can negatively impact both people. In this blog post, we will discuss the ten signs of codependency in intimate relationships.
Why are Certain People Codependent?
Fundamentally, codependency is a crisis of self. A lack of clear identity and self-worth in a codependent person can drive them to seek validation through others. Codependents may have never learned to love themselves or connect with their own emotions and needs as children, and generally gain self-worth by caring for others.
Ten Signs of Codependency
When you care for others at your own expense, it can be a particularly cruel form of neglect. People struggling with codependency often end up under a high amount of stress, juggling anxiety, depression, and loss of self. Some signs of codependent behavior include:
- Dependence on another individual for self worth
- Fear of abandonment
- Feeling inclined to stay in an unhealthy relationship
- An excessive need to please your partner
- Finding deep intimacy in relationships where one’s primary role is that of a supporter or “rescuer”
- Sensing your partner’s life would decline without you in it
- Confusion about where to go next in life or what to do with oneself
- Neglecting friendships or interests
- Difficulty setting boundaries
- Spending a significant amount of time trying to change one’s partner or conforming to their wishes
The Effects of Codependency
People in codependent relationships undoubtedly have numerous positive qualities. However, in these relationship dynamics these qualities can often be exploited, stifled, or ignored. Codependency can take a toll on both individuals in a partnership — the helper feels trapped and exhausted, while the other individual may feel helpless and unable to function alone.This imbalance results in a situation in which each person bases their feelings about their life and self on how the other individual is feeling.
How New Perspective Counseling Can Help
Addressing codependency means addressing old wounds from childhood. The first step is recognizing the problem and acknowledging that it exists. It’s possible to set aside these patterns of behavior and replace them with healthier ones instead. Recovering from codependency means learning to grow strong by loving and caring for yourself the way you’d care for others. If you’re interested in learning more, reach out to schedule a free consultation for individual therapy.
